Monday, March 19, 2012

unsuitable pie

I envy Happy Birthday friend, as anyone would admire a better person. The wellwisher, so organized they have other peoples personal business on their calendar. Sit through a short flashback with your mind, to a pre MyFacespacebook day. This friend is one of the few on earth that gave one about the day you arrived, gives a call or a card;some give cupcakes or hugs. I could've forgotten the day all together, or slept through it. Birthday reminder person would call your answering machine, letting you know they care. It feels good for five seconds.Then like trash. Now your unfocused memory and selfishness allows no reciprocal gesture. Eventually my inept 'what birthday?' pretense, so there is no spotlight failed. You can't stop a mob from insane gatherings and the true desire to be with  friends and family. Everyone ended up having one big party on teen birthdays. Those times don't last long as we all slowly or suddenly go elsewhere. Educational options, employment opportunities, or unimaginable reasons like working for  Microsoft or fighting a war in Iraq. The fun days are all shorter than December 21st. Time will indeed fly by.
Still, breatheability is to be celebrated.
I gotta answer the phone calls from relatives, friends separated by counties and states. before I was charted up on what I imagine is an ingrate tree. A pyramid of disrespect. Wellwishers and social jitterbugs will stick colored push pins in my face,(rendered by an artist), and possibly a stick figure body, mapping out events I was invited - but neglected to attend. My Aunts have police detective mob tree taped up on white butcher paper over sheet rock, in some room that looks like Sara Beth's  Columbus circle restaurant / Church parlor!
 As I accept the praise for being born, which really, should be forwarded to my Mom -
So, foward without flashing because we are here. I heard with iFaceMyFakerbook.com, birthdays are auto sent. Not doing anything, is at least, more polite than 'auto Happy Birthday person'. social auto attentiveness  seems easy, semi-lame, but obviously is largely positive. Are women's age optional in the book? Is there a day, but no birth year.

My German shepherd, Hans, ran away during the big quake. 1971 was a bad year. I acted like a brat at that party. I hated birthday parties for a while. I acted like a little six year old. Stupid kid. act your age, not like a consarn 4 year old. YOU'RE SIX - straighten up! Grow up! I should have had a talking to from myself to myself. But instead I think I received some disciplinarian action.
Eighteenth for 1965ers- we all celebrated Chapel Hill High style at the Pizza hut -He's Not Here plaza on Franklin st.
Drinking Riunite, Boone's Farm, Malt Duck, and Goebel's with Little Kings, Mickey's 6 packs at the street tables.
Pizza hut guy comes out to move the mayhem of 25 - 30 kids celebrating the drinking age changing in a day, but most of us are making the cut.
"You guys finished a while ago, uuh.. could you guys leave-?" no response-
Again, the skinny, nice enough, frock wearing kid yells over a buzz of people buzzing.
"Hey, you guys all need to leave the premise!"
I turned to look at the attentive crowd reaction, which was only us... slow to care focus on him or his words.
 Stephen Akin and Clark Troy both spring to attention sensing a debate opportunity. As if injected with smelling salts Clark hops up like he might be in a triple jump runway and stares into the guys face-
"What was that?"
He did not regress. Obviously sent out by a manager, but maybe looking for a promotion, or simply job retention.
 He repeated the same statement.
"Really, define premise!", Clark said flatly, and stood there as if he had all day for this discussion.
He did not have that kind of time. The streets were swelling with 18 year olds frolicking and yelling about things of elation, but probably of little consequence after the sound of their words hit the beer can paved Franklin street..in their short life of adulthoodpersonship.
  While someone inside was phoning up an officer or a paddy wagon to quell the party, now completely unrelated to our Pizza Hut and Pump House Arcade experience, arrangements were made to head to Beaver park at the bottom of Purefoy Rd. A shouting friendly, wooded spot behind Merritt's. the party for CHHS soccer and cross country - track teams continued.
Standing tall and futilely rebutting - Clark's face was aglow with glee." Ok", I said"y'all ready to go?"
"You're an idiot", Stephen said to the guy, "He means premises ..aaaahhh haha.."   with Clark edging him out to take center lectern position on the guy...As I turned to see walk around the tables to the street and back, I heard distant rebutting.
"One is a idea or basis, and one is a place, A place or property is "Premises". It was loud and really could have continued infinitely,  but ...Police.
The parade was a party going all directions with drinking as the theme. Happy, wild, it was like New Orleans I would guess. Festive as if UNC Men's varsity basketball made straight A's or won another National Championship. Both are celebrated very similarly I'm guessing. This party had no real theme, less - Drink Now, for Tomorrow we can't!  The tours are similar with 'the COCs', so 1992
The Veldt put a pile of cash on the dressing room steps - that went directly to the stage of the Newport Music Hall. It was March Madness and UNC was still in it, so I was in a birthday mood. I Unsuited, and suited up the birthday suit, walked out on stage and greeted all the band in the middle of their set.
Simon and Robin saw me first, then Liz. Hello Columbus Ohio, What up guys! I felt Tufnelian. Even the hired  players in Cocteau Twins (Dave , Ben, Vinny) got a big tour boost out of it. Any band is lying if they don't admit monotony sets in every 4th show.
I'm an idiot. I'm bored, and now I'll go get that cash. only $12 was there yet everyone was laughing. It seemed like there was more money there when I stepped over it.You only get a $12 per diem, so I earned thrift shop money. Birthday betting has benefits.
That's fine.
Finer in Carolina. Not really. The grass might seem greener, but the ground is covered with piles of crap on both sides of the fence. Military hotheads at a Raleigh hardcore matinee misunderstanding Dead Kennedys are the same type who broke into our van during the Bull Durham cast at Fishbone show at the Brewery. The next day Joe, Danny, and I took my Chevy Caprice to the Chamber st. house in Raleigh. "open the trunk and I'll stand here, like in the movies", Danny said.
"uh..., OK", was my nervous answer.
 Joe and I knocked on the door and they trembled and gave back glasses, bass, and leather jacket, etc.
What could be finer is my  move back from Brooklyn and was doing fine as we finished what was the last Veldt record.
Jumped into my new very used 1989 Saab9000 recently haggled from Page and started heading to the Dead  Mule club, where they are concerned primarily about the brown water. I'm quick about town, so in fifteen minutes it was time to figure where the owner of the car blocking me in the little gravel square lot was. Bouncing across the street and headturning, to avoid getting hit and because I've been trapped for three months on Bald Head Isle working, and now back home in a friendly place. My next act of public service may have lasting staying power.
The Cave was where the young lady who owned the car went. One block west in downtown Chapel Hill I picked up an entire row of overturned newspaper holders. They were heavy and my energy was dissipating while muttering and wondering who would do this.
 The three men who took offense to the cleanup, or their public performance vandalism art came at me from all sides. I don't know the time sequence. I swung and covered in defense, a boot caught me, I was near the tree, I could see 411 west, and McDonald's as I was sure to be a reenactment of American History X opening scene. I saw a flower pot.I was out, how long?my jaw, teeth feel weird...my head
I saw legs, felt punches. Blood was streaming from my left back side of my head, but I crawled towards Ham's along the street and two guys on the wall at Ham's dialed 911 having seen the beating. I felt my root canal cracked and my bridge on my lower teeth hurt.Matt Putnam was standing over me,saying stuff, yelling at fools...thats my bartender- halfway down the street...
 Rolling over to prop my head on the sidewalk, I saw Officer Overend, and an ambulance. I stood and saw a guy threatening to kill me while the officer was questioning who to arrest. He was like the bully in Matt Dillon movie. One of their brainwashed, backwater, hick girlfriend claimed she was in law school, and I imitated Ille Nastase on the whole group, a gesture that had the unwashed young group trying to create a courtroom drama while I'm getting my headwrapped on a gurney. If she's not committed, she's probably a defense con lawyer. They let the criminals off, no bail, not show for court, and dropped the case. Lazy, unconcerned, unprofessional.
Margaret Lundy and her manager, Laurie, bought a cell phone and made me take it, pay later. i had crusaded against the CP (Clown Piece) While I was actually criticized by some local ignorant racist losers for getting them arrested, Alzheimer's and other trauma is not their problem.Unless its in their family also. "Concrete Jungle - it ain't safe on the streets, the animals are after me" . I would refer to these people simpletons.
  "Happy Birthday, now you can call the police",in  her happy 'day off voice'. Look, trying to tell her in a thanks but no thanks, no need for a cellphone. I'm anti clown piece, and even a pager."The guys who sat there on Ham's wall,witnessed it and - had cops there in one second Madge". "well ,she concludes,  you just seem like you need this!" An employer who cares about all her employees. Even a two shift a week barkeep.

Around 2007,  I could get a haircut without flinching when the clipper blades neared my new danger zone. One day I pulled over on Martin Luther King Blvd or historic Airport rd. and started gathering a  hefty bag of business papers that obviously fell out of a vehicle. The winds would make this a giant mess.This is how I got in trouble before picking up paper - face forward son, a pal Page always says. Focus on you more.
Clean sheets of typing paper by someone on Airport road to ruin the five lane thoroughfare. Papers were slowly moving away and around, just enough to make me work a little and look foolish.
One of a thousand Chapel Hill police cruisers pulls up to help.
Kinda surprising really, not because I've had over 50 tickets, but because he's a cop. They should always call in city worker for trash, large roadkill, etc. would be civic.
Just care a little if you can't get out of the patrol car and work. Officer  is getting out... Its Officer Overend. Unbelievable. We spoke, quickly got a hefty bag, cleaned the road of research papers and drove our separate ways. I just know he got me through  - to more birthdays.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Must you make a scene?

This was my Dads catch phrase from Los Angeles to Henderson, when private issues were verbalized publicly. "Dad , can I get uh.." As if struck with pain he halted then turned.Soundlessly, his expression transformed into some guy who not only shouldn't be at a strip club, but he is at one and is given  hot sauce gag candy from a peer pressurer and his17 y/o daughter walks out on stage.  His arm raised in halt position in the store aisle like we are hunting in the outback. "Do you mean ,'may I'", he asks 40% disgusted tone, "and have in lieu of 'get'".
"Dad, may I have that Evil Kenivel wind up knuckle scraping toy?" as I sprinted across Fedco and slid
the last 4 feet up to the display in my blue Prokeds- "Must you make such a scene?" would switch my kid faculties into good manners mode. Highlights ranked in my top ten reads in 1971 - Goofus would get an arm grab, Gallant would get a toy. I'm 6;a silent pouting is an option. Frown power will shower thinking man's guilt, wafting quietly upwards. 
Wow, he shut up. Maybe the li'l guy deserves it. He'll not grow up daredevil like. It's quiet.

Scene averted.
All scenes have this.
A collection of people who are friends through proximity / the power of like. Fun being around each other, constantly. And love music.  Sharing w/ friends , helping each other with demos. Playing it almost for free, paying to go to see it, and purchasing music / merch without having to be on spotify.
   Venues, fans, artist, musicians, radio,print, cafes and Kinkos
Factions, cliques,are natural. We are a simple people. Fearing all, educating rarely. From middle school rich kids in lunchrooms to insecure skinheads downtown to Capitol Hill and the United Nations. Segregate so we can relate.Makes ugly clubs;see any Whit Stillman Film.
 I moved to Oakwood because Daniel lived there and it was cheap and not Chapel Hill, because I'm burned out there.
When Pepper moved into Bloodworth st. house, I was a 3 month vet and about to get  behind a month in rent, but I had settled my mattress up on 36 milk crates in the best upstairs room, other than Melissa's, John candy's, and Reed's master. Ok , I had the worst bedroom but I wasn't in the basement. Pepper was down there. Lot's of pipes and water heater ; mess. After a week I went to his mausoleum crypt- It was spotless and redeigned. Keenan was quietly doing 100 art projects from silk screen designs to skateboard logos and playing guitar.a whole lotta riffs.But this weirdo had an MFA. Pondering  the temper tantrum odds of him getting tired of hearing Peele giving me drum lessons in the dining room was still a focus detractor. Reed could sleep through anything as if he were on a Boroughs-Wellcome scientific sleep study. Or in a band with a guy from NOLA ready to play. Playing a million shows each week will wear the body down.
Embracing his rest,  we somehow took Mac McCaughn's plate from a Mustang he sold Reed and got in a
high speed chase* with Reardon and Jody Maxwell (from Sex Police).Preventable it started when MacGowan called the Cameron Village cashier a dumbass for carding all involved. I only remember quickly leaving because he demanded to see the manager who appeared like Houdini. Suddenly two lines exchanged and he was on the phone to the police. We ran to the car and went down to Edenton and with a cop behind us went behind the old Huddle House and took the driveway like u-turn exit to back to the bus station; we shook him, through boylan heights, western blvd. Minutes later Jamie Mc's and her Chapel Hill party- burned out there. Probably top 5 out of  20 -this is it guys -clean cell for some, dirty one for others...
She got us a hardback gig  the next month .
So, in NYC where you would never borrow gear without paying (!) Here in the Ol' North the cymbals and amps are free my friend.and  license plates. It is actually a scene.

 Pros: COC van lending to Veldt , yet us destroying a nextdoor car backing up- fleeing the scene, and leaving $800 cash with the Chavis' grandma.
 mentionable Cons: Using the old  NOCORE plate,COC van's, on Akin's Acura to get Carrboro Harris Teeter gaining a late night frozen dinner. The cop pulled up in the yard but the computer was down all night, so we waited for :30 and all I got was to thaw my dinner on the car hood. They called it a night.

 Reed borrowed my Animosity to practice with it.
*Chases :must involve George,L. Wurster, Reardon, MacGowan, Stehling, Ladd