Monday, March 19, 2012

unsuitable pie

I envy Happy Birthday friend, as anyone would admire a better person. Sit through a short flashback with your mind, to a pre MyFacespacebook day.  This friend is one of the few on earth that gave one, about the day you arrived, gives a call or a card;some give cupcakes or hugs. I could've almost forgot the day all together, or slept through it. Birthday reminder person would call your answering machine, letting you know they care. It feels good for five seconds.Then like trash. Now your unfocused memory and selfishness allows no reciprocal gesture. Eventually my inept 'what birthday?' failed largely succumbing to insane gatherings and the true desire to be with  friends, and family. Everyone ended up having one big party on teen birthdays. Those times don't last long as we all slowly or suddenly go elsewhere. Educational options, employment opportunities, or unimaginable reasons like working for a Microsoft or fighting a war in Iraq. The fun days are all shorter than December 21st. Time will indeed fly by.
Still, breatheability is to be celebrated.
I gotta answer the phone a calls, before I was charted up on what I imagine is an ingrate tree. A pyramid of disrespect. Wellwishers and social jitterbugs will stick colored push pins in my face,(rendered by an artist), and possibly a stick figure body, mapping out events I was invited - but neglected to attend. My Aunts have police detective mob tree taped up on white butcher paper over sheetrock, in some room that looks like Sara Beth's restaurant / Church parlor!
 As I accept the praise for being born, which really, should be forwarded to my Mom -

Foward without flashing because we are here. I heard with iFaceMyFakerbook.com, birthdays are auto sent. Not doing anything, is at least, more polite than 'auto Happy Birthday person'. social auto attentiveness is seems lame, but obviously is largely positive. Are women's age optional in the book?

My German shepard, Hans, ran away  during the big quake. 1971. I Acted like a brat at that party. I hated birthday parties for a while. I acted like a little six year old.
Eighteenth for 1965ers- we all celebrated Chapel Hill High style at the Pizza hut -He's Not Here plaza on Franklin st.
Drinking Riunite, Boones Farm, Malt Duck, and Goebels with Milwaukee Beast cases at the street tables.
Pizza hut guy comes out to move the mayhem of 25 - 30 kids celebrating the drinking age changing in two days, but most of us are making the cut.
"Could you guys leave-?" no response-
Again, the skinny, nice enough, frock wearing kid yells over a buzz of people buzzing.
"Yo, you guys all need to leave the premise!"
I turned to look at the unattentive crowd reaction slow to care focus on him or his words.
 Stephen Akin and Clark Troy both spring to attention sensing a debate opportunity. As if injected with smelling salts Clark hops up like he might be in a triple jump runway and stares into the guys face-
"What was that?"
He did not regress. Obviously sent out by a manager, but maybe looking for a promotion, or simply job retention.
 He repeated the same statement.
"Really, define premise!", Clark said flatly, and stood there as if he had all day for this discussion.
He did not have that kind of time.
  While someone inside was phoning up an officer or a few, to quell the party now completely unrelated to Pizza Hut and Pumphouse Arcade, arrangements were made to head to Beaver park at the bottom of Purefoy rd. A shouting friendly, wooded spot behind Merritts.
"You're an idiot", Stephen said,  with Clark edging him out to take center lectern position on the guy.
"One is a foundation , and one is a place, A place or property is "Premeises". It was loud and really could have continued infinitely,  but ...Police.
The parade was a party, happy, wild, it was like New Orleans I would guess. Festive as if UNC Mens varsity basketball made straight A's or won another National Cahmpionship. Both are celebrated very differently. This party had no real theme, less- Tomorrow we can't!
The Veldt put a pile of cash on the dressing room steps that went directlty to the stage of the Newport Music Hall. It was March Madness and UNC was still in it, so I was in a birthday mood. I Unsuited, and suited up the birthday suit, walked out on stage and greeted all the band.Simon and Robin saw me first, then Liz. Hello Columbus Ohio, What up guys!. Even the auxillary Cocteau twins (Dave , Ben, Vinny) got a big tour boost out of it. Any band is lying if they don't admit monotony sets in every 4th show.
I'm an idiot. I'm bored, and now I'll go get that cash. only $12 was there yet everyone was laughing.
That's fine.
Finer in Carolina. Not really. The grass might seem greener, but the ground is covered with piles of crap on both sides of the fence. Military hotheads at a Raleigh hardcore matinee misunderstanding Dead Kennedys are the same type who broke into our van during the Bull Durham Fishbone show at the Brewery. The next day Joe, Danny, and I took my Chevy Caprice to the Chamber st. house in Raleigh. "open the trunk and I'll stand here, like in the movies", Danny said.
"uh..., OK", was my nervous answer.
 Joe and I knocked on the door and they trembled and gave back glasses, bass, and leather jacket, etc.
What could be finer is my  move back from Brooklyn and was doing fine as we finished what was the last Veldt record.
Jumped into my new very used 1989 Saab9000 recently haggled from Page and started heading to the Dead  Mule club, where they are concerned primarily about the brown water. I'm quick about town, so in fifteen minutes it was time to figure where the owner of the car blocking me in the little gravel square lot was. Bouncing across the street and headturning, to avoid getting hit and because I've been trapped for three months on Bald Head Isle working, and now back home in a friendly place.My next act of public service may have lasting staying power.
The Cave was where the young lady who owned the car went. One block west in downtown Chapel Hill I picked up an entire row of overturned newspaper holders. They were heavy and my energy was dissipating while muttering and wondering who would do this.
 The three men who took offense to the cleanup, or their public performance vandalism art came at me from all sides. I don't know the time sequence. I swung and covered in defense, a boot caught me, I was near the tree, I could see 411 west, and McDonald's as I was sure to be a reenactment of American History X opening scene. I saw a flower pot.I was out, how long?
I saw legs, felt punches. Blood was streaming from my left back side of my head, but I crawled towards Ham's along the street and two guys on the wall at Ham's dialed 911 having seen the beating. I felt my root canal cracked and my bridge on my lower teeth hurt.Matt Putnam was standing over me,saying stuff, yelling at fools...thats my bartender- halfway down the street...
 Rolling over to prop my head on the sidewalk, I saw Officer Overend, and an ambulance. I stood and saw a guy threatening to kill me while the officer was questioning who to arrest. One of their brainwashed, backwater, hick girlfriend claimed she was in law school, and I imitated Ille Nastase on the whole group, a gesture that had the unwashed young lady trying to create a courtroom drama while I'm getting my headwrapped on a gurney. If she's not committed ,she's probably chasing the ambulances. They let the criminals not show for court, and dropped the case. I've caught the same guy twice Breaking and entering my house twice and the police knew him and do nothing. Also police did steal my car : FACT.
Margaret Lundy and her manager, Laurie, bought a cell phone and made me pay later. While I was actually criticized by some local ignorant racist losers for getting them arrested, Alzheimers and other trauma is not their problem.Unless its in their family also. "Concrete Jungle - it ain't safe on the streets, the animals are after me" . I would refer to these people simpletons.
  "Happy Birthday, now you can call the police",in  her happy 'day off voice'. Look, trying to tell her in a thanks but no thanks,no need for a cellphone. I'm anti clownpiece, and even a pager."The guys who sat there on the wall,witnessed it and - had cops there in one second Madge". "well ,she concludes,  you just seem like you need this!" An employer who cares about all her employees. Even a two shift a week barkeep.

Around 2007,  I could get a haircut without flinching when the clipper blades neared my new dangerzone. One day I pulled over on Martin Luther King Blvd or historic Airport rd. and started gathering a  hefty bag of business papers that obviously fell out of a vehicle. The winds would make this a giant mess.
Clean sheets on a road to ruin the five lane thoroughfare. Papers were slowly moving away and around, just enough to make me work a little.
One of a thousand Chapel Hill police cruisers pulls up to help.
Kinda surprising really, not because I've had over 50 tickets, but because this cop cares, Its Officer Overend.

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